Saturday, January 14, 2017
Friday, January 13, 2017
A Wee Bit Busy
Today is the Wifely Units birthday.
It's also payday finally.
Christmas pretty much left me broker than crystal champagne flute at a frat party until now.
That's normal.
So I woke up groggy at about ten, slammed a cup of coffee in the microwave and went out and started that cold blooded bastard of an El Camino to start getting the ice off the windshield and have a smoke while I was waiting a bit.
Jumped in the old fucker and slipped around until I hit the main road. I still have the chains on the back because all these side roads around here are still covered with ice but the main roads are clear.
Literally buzzed on down to Wally World and picked up a cake and the fixin's for a hell of a breakfast.
Real, center cut, premium smoked bacon, Pillsbury Grand biscuits, some killer packaged pepper country gravy mix the wife found, hash browns and eggs. I was going to make bacon gravy from scratch but decided to go the easy route, that shit's pretty damn good and only takes a minute or two.
Then I grabbed some Bailey's she wanted for her coffee, a bunch of Scratch Off tickets and a wad of cash and buzzed on back here with the chains a hummin' on the dry pavement and started in.
It turned out pretty good if I have to say so myself.
I made enough to fill up the whole crew and some had seconds.
She couldn't even finish the first round because I loaded her up.
She was pleasantly surprised and happy so I figured I did alright.
I'm off to That Place again here in a bit.
Had a bad night last night, I have been brain dead for some reason lately.
My birthday is coming up here in a couple of weeks and I have decided that I need to get the fuck away from That Place for a while.
I'm putting in for a weeks vacation tonight for the whole week of my Birthday.
I'm not going anywhere and I'm not doing anything.
I'm gonna lay around like the government is paying for everything and see what it's like.
Sure, I'll go fart around out in the garage some but I just desperately need some down time.
So, that's my day so far.
I haven't checked my Email or the news yet and am off to do that before I have to get ready for work.
Y'all have a nice day now and thanks for stopping by.
It's also payday finally.
Christmas pretty much left me broker than crystal champagne flute at a frat party until now.
That's normal.
So I woke up groggy at about ten, slammed a cup of coffee in the microwave and went out and started that cold blooded bastard of an El Camino to start getting the ice off the windshield and have a smoke while I was waiting a bit.
Jumped in the old fucker and slipped around until I hit the main road. I still have the chains on the back because all these side roads around here are still covered with ice but the main roads are clear.
Literally buzzed on down to Wally World and picked up a cake and the fixin's for a hell of a breakfast.
Real, center cut, premium smoked bacon, Pillsbury Grand biscuits, some killer packaged pepper country gravy mix the wife found, hash browns and eggs. I was going to make bacon gravy from scratch but decided to go the easy route, that shit's pretty damn good and only takes a minute or two.
Then I grabbed some Bailey's she wanted for her coffee, a bunch of Scratch Off tickets and a wad of cash and buzzed on back here with the chains a hummin' on the dry pavement and started in.
It turned out pretty good if I have to say so myself.
I made enough to fill up the whole crew and some had seconds.
She couldn't even finish the first round because I loaded her up.
She was pleasantly surprised and happy so I figured I did alright.
I'm off to That Place again here in a bit.
Had a bad night last night, I have been brain dead for some reason lately.
My birthday is coming up here in a couple of weeks and I have decided that I need to get the fuck away from That Place for a while.
I'm putting in for a weeks vacation tonight for the whole week of my Birthday.
I'm not going anywhere and I'm not doing anything.
I'm gonna lay around like the government is paying for everything and see what it's like.
Sure, I'll go fart around out in the garage some but I just desperately need some down time.
So, that's my day so far.
I haven't checked my Email or the news yet and am off to do that before I have to get ready for work.
Y'all have a nice day now and thanks for stopping by.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Phone Scammers , Meet Karma
I keep getting the assholes calling me and waking me up in the mornings claiming to be from THE US GOVERNMENT!! ELEVENTY ELEVEN!!!!
They are pissing me off too.
It's always some fuckhead with such a heavy Indian accent that I can't hardly understand what the fuck they are saying.
Well, they done fucked up this morning.
Woke my ass up but I didn't answer the phone right away because I didn't have my glasses on.
Some local number though.
I got up, went and warmed up some of yesterdays coffee, went out and had a smoke then came in, got a pen and a paper and called the number back.
Bingo.
I had to have the guy spell out what government agency he was claiming to represent his accent was so bad.
The U.S. Branch of Human Health Services.
Got some phony address, another phony phone number then got down to business.
He claimed his name was Joe Bronson.
Says he is from THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT!!
Claims that they took some phony survey and that because I haven't filed for bankruptcy and don't have a criminal record that I qualify to get $7,800.
The whole time he is trying to scam me, I am just fucking with this motherfucker non stop.
This is like the sixth time these cock suckers have called and woke me up in the last two months so now it's game on.
I let him run his yap for a bit then I told him I wasn't interested before he could set the hook, then I hung up.
I drank some more coffee and got on the internet and filed a complaint against the sonsabitches with the FTC.
It won't do a bit of good but I have been on the Do Not Call registry since October of 2012.
After I got a confirmation number for my complaint, I called the asshole back up again.
I could hear a television blasting in the back ground but he answered right in character.
I told him I had the wrong number and hung up.
Fifteen minutes later I called 'em again and some Indian woman answered an immediately identified herself as working for the government also.
I mumbled some nothings and hung up on her too.
Just a minute ago I called and some guy answers but his accent has pretty much disappeared and he claims he doesn't know what I'm talking about, I asked him if he had money for me but he claimed ignorance.
It's the same guy so they are on to me.
I told him that he could expect a call from the government and hung up on his ass.
Later on I'm gonna call the fuckers again.
I'm gonna call the cocksuckers at two in the morning after I get home from work too.
Then I am going to explain to them that they have fucked with the wrong guy one time too many and that now it's my turn.
You see, they really fucked up when they called me with a local number that actually connects back to them.
I'm gonna call the cocksuckers at that number until they are forced to disconnect it.
Payback is a bitch.
They are pissing me off too.
It's always some fuckhead with such a heavy Indian accent that I can't hardly understand what the fuck they are saying.
Well, they done fucked up this morning.
Woke my ass up but I didn't answer the phone right away because I didn't have my glasses on.
Some local number though.
I got up, went and warmed up some of yesterdays coffee, went out and had a smoke then came in, got a pen and a paper and called the number back.
Bingo.
I had to have the guy spell out what government agency he was claiming to represent his accent was so bad.
The U.S. Branch of Human Health Services.
Got some phony address, another phony phone number then got down to business.
He claimed his name was Joe Bronson.
Says he is from THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT!!
Claims that they took some phony survey and that because I haven't filed for bankruptcy and don't have a criminal record that I qualify to get $7,800.
The whole time he is trying to scam me, I am just fucking with this motherfucker non stop.
This is like the sixth time these cock suckers have called and woke me up in the last two months so now it's game on.
I let him run his yap for a bit then I told him I wasn't interested before he could set the hook, then I hung up.
I drank some more coffee and got on the internet and filed a complaint against the sonsabitches with the FTC.
It won't do a bit of good but I have been on the Do Not Call registry since October of 2012.
After I got a confirmation number for my complaint, I called the asshole back up again.
I could hear a television blasting in the back ground but he answered right in character.
I told him I had the wrong number and hung up.
Fifteen minutes later I called 'em again and some Indian woman answered an immediately identified herself as working for the government also.
I mumbled some nothings and hung up on her too.
Just a minute ago I called and some guy answers but his accent has pretty much disappeared and he claims he doesn't know what I'm talking about, I asked him if he had money for me but he claimed ignorance.
It's the same guy so they are on to me.
I told him that he could expect a call from the government and hung up on his ass.
Later on I'm gonna call the fuckers again.
I'm gonna call the cocksuckers at two in the morning after I get home from work too.
Then I am going to explain to them that they have fucked with the wrong guy one time too many and that now it's my turn.
You see, they really fucked up when they called me with a local number that actually connects back to them.
I'm gonna call the cocksuckers at that number until they are forced to disconnect it.
Payback is a bitch.
Most of the 80's-90's and damn near all of the 00's
I'm tellin' ya, some of the shit I don't remember is downright epic.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
All The Local News Channels Are Deliriously Happy,It's 24/7 OMG Snow!
Holy fuck.
They have preempted every show on every channel and have their stupid reporters wandering the streets all over the area like locusts interviewing the local idiots and pointing out the blatantly obvious.
There is sheet metal carnage all over the place and more of this white shit to come.
"STORM TRACKER WEATHER ALERT" kinda shit on every local channel.
OMG It's Snowmageddon! "Historic Snowfall"!
You would think no one has ever seen this strange white substance falling from the sky and they have every motherfucking state highway moron they can get a hold of on the phone yakking about tire chains and stupid drivers.
Traffic is fucked, there are abandoned cars everywhere, everything is closed. chains are required on all the major highways and there are more fucking idiots employed by these local news channels than you can shake a stick at.
In other words,
Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.
When I woke up I stuck my head out back to check my local weather station and was greeted with this,
I'm gonna get something to eat, dig out my cold weather gear, make sure I am gassed up and go to work as usual.
I only hope I can avoid as many of these morons that don't know how to drive on this shit as possible.
From out the front door,
Have a pleasant day.
They have preempted every show on every channel and have their stupid reporters wandering the streets all over the area like locusts interviewing the local idiots and pointing out the blatantly obvious.
There is sheet metal carnage all over the place and more of this white shit to come.
"STORM TRACKER WEATHER ALERT" kinda shit on every local channel.
OMG It's Snowmageddon! "Historic Snowfall"!
You would think no one has ever seen this strange white substance falling from the sky and they have every motherfucking state highway moron they can get a hold of on the phone yakking about tire chains and stupid drivers.
Traffic is fucked, there are abandoned cars everywhere, everything is closed. chains are required on all the major highways and there are more fucking idiots employed by these local news channels than you can shake a stick at.
In other words,
Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.
When I woke up I stuck my head out back to check my local weather station and was greeted with this,
I'm gonna get something to eat, dig out my cold weather gear, make sure I am gassed up and go to work as usual.
I only hope I can avoid as many of these morons that don't know how to drive on this shit as possible.
From out the front door,
Have a pleasant day.
Well, We Finally Got It
It dumped 3 inches of snow in about an hour and a half, it's supposed to snow all damn nght too. Right now there is at least 4 inches out there and it's still coming down.
I had to put the cable chains on the El Camino just to get home. There is ice underneath all that snow on the roads.
Yay.
I had to put the cable chains on the El Camino just to get home. There is ice underneath all that snow on the roads.
Yay.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Welcome To The Obama Economy Bitches
This was just too good not to share.
Shamelessly stolen verbatim from Pete over at Western Rifle Shooters Association,via The Blaze.
Let me spin this for you, Obama has just created more job opportunities in the D.C area than he has in the last seven years.
There, that's better.
Shamelessly stolen verbatim from Pete over at Western Rifle Shooters Association,via The Blaze.
Let me spin this for you, Obama has just created more job opportunities in the D.C area than he has in the last seven years.
There, that's better.
Monday, January 9, 2017
Got Lucky
Somehow the massive ice storm that was predicted never materialized around here.
I had even went out and put tarps over the windshields of both rigs because I have been to Grandma's house before.
The streets were a bit icy at four this morning but right now it's just wet and a bit rainy.
I'm not gonna complain about that one bit.
I haven't seen the news reports yet but I imagine they still got blasted up in the gorge area.
Right now I am just thankful I'm not out scraping ice and trying to get the damn car doors open.
I had even went out and put tarps over the windshields of both rigs because I have been to Grandma's house before.
The streets were a bit icy at four this morning but right now it's just wet and a bit rainy.
I'm not gonna complain about that one bit.
I haven't seen the news reports yet but I imagine they still got blasted up in the gorge area.
Right now I am just thankful I'm not out scraping ice and trying to get the damn car doors open.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
This Is Going To Be Ugly
The Winter Wonderland Express is about to hit here.
It snowed some yesterday, a bit earlier again today then warmed up.
Everything melted and right now it is raining hard.
It's supposed to freeze up.
Freezing rain and ice, everywhere.
I see a repeat coming.
It snowed some yesterday, a bit earlier again today then warmed up.
Everything melted and right now it is raining hard.
It's supposed to freeze up.
Freezing rain and ice, everywhere.
I see a repeat coming.
Saturday, January 7, 2017
A Southerner Moves Up North
I have no idea where this originated, it's been around for years.
It's so old that the first time I ever saw it was a paper copy my Dad had in his file cabinet out in his garage.
I laughed so fucking hard I almost pulled a muscle.
In honor of more of the fucking white shit heading this way, snow then an inch of ice predicted, I present to you an old favorite.
The diary of a poor soul who moved from sunny Florida to some unnamed Northern state just in time for Winter to hit.
A Southerner Moves up North
diary:
Dec 8. - It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first I've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window. Watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.
Dec 9. - We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and I loved it. I did both the driveway and our sidewalk. Later, the city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.
Dec 10. - It snowed an additional 6 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled the driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-grey.
Dec 11. - Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway; $145 to a chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected today.
Dec 12. - Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did considerable amount of damage to the rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white shit last night. both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snow plow came by twice today. I'm positive the sadistic motherfucker is doing it on purpose just to be a dick.
Dec 13. - Two degrees below zero outside! More fucking snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put out the flames, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on the ice on way to emergency room and was totaled. Had to get a ride from the tow truck driver to the hospital, can't wait for that bill. Four hour wait for a cab to get back home.Made him stop and wait while I went inside the liquor store and bought two cases of whiskey on the way back.
Dec 14. - Goddamn mother-fucking white shit keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes I own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch that sonofbitch that drives the snowplow I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100 mph and buries our driveway again. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof is starting to cave in.
Dec 15. - Six goddamn more inches of fucking snow and fucking sleet and fucking ice and god knows what other kind of motherfucking white shit fell last night. I wounded that cocksucker of a snowplow driver asshole with an ice axe but he managed to get away. He left a trail of blood to follow later though. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow blind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More fucking snow predicted. Wind chill is minus 22 fucking degrees.
Fuck this shit. I'm moving back to Florida.
It's so old that the first time I ever saw it was a paper copy my Dad had in his file cabinet out in his garage.
I laughed so fucking hard I almost pulled a muscle.
In honor of more of the fucking white shit heading this way, snow then an inch of ice predicted, I present to you an old favorite.
The diary of a poor soul who moved from sunny Florida to some unnamed Northern state just in time for Winter to hit.
A Southerner Moves up North
diary:
Dec 8. - It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first I've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window. Watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.
Dec 9. - We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and I loved it. I did both the driveway and our sidewalk. Later, the city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.
Dec 10. - It snowed an additional 6 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled the driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-grey.
Dec 11. - Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway; $145 to a chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected today.
Dec 12. - Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did considerable amount of damage to the rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white shit last night. both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snow plow came by twice today. I'm positive the sadistic motherfucker is doing it on purpose just to be a dick.
Dec 13. - Two degrees below zero outside! More fucking snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put out the flames, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on the ice on way to emergency room and was totaled. Had to get a ride from the tow truck driver to the hospital, can't wait for that bill. Four hour wait for a cab to get back home.Made him stop and wait while I went inside the liquor store and bought two cases of whiskey on the way back.
Dec 14. - Goddamn mother-fucking white shit keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes I own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch that sonofbitch that drives the snowplow I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100 mph and buries our driveway again. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof is starting to cave in.
Dec 15. - Six goddamn more inches of fucking snow and fucking sleet and fucking ice and god knows what other kind of motherfucking white shit fell last night. I wounded that cocksucker of a snowplow driver asshole with an ice axe but he managed to get away. He left a trail of blood to follow later though. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow blind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More fucking snow predicted. Wind chill is minus 22 fucking degrees.
Fuck this shit. I'm moving back to Florida.
Some People Have WAY Too Much Time And WAY Too Much Money On Their Hands
Get a load of the size of this Remote Controlled Crane.
The people involved in this build entire cities and run these little machines all over the place.
Just a guess but I'm thinking a few thousand dollars involved here.
I got sucked into a rabbit hole watching some of these videos and some of this miniature equipment blows my mind.
If you watch the whole video, you will see the guy using a rake handle to knock the lifting slings loose. That's how tall this thing is.
Twelve feet tall I'm guessing.
A twelve foot tall, remote controlled, Toy Crane. Jayzus.
I'm going to have to show this to the Wifely Unit later and threaten to get into this crap. That should be enough to cause her to lighten up on me for the crap I do have going now and make it seem rather harmless and cheap.
The people involved in this build entire cities and run these little machines all over the place.
Just a guess but I'm thinking a few thousand dollars involved here.
I got sucked into a rabbit hole watching some of these videos and some of this miniature equipment blows my mind.
If you watch the whole video, you will see the guy using a rake handle to knock the lifting slings loose. That's how tall this thing is.
Twelve feet tall I'm guessing.
A twelve foot tall, remote controlled, Toy Crane. Jayzus.
I'm going to have to show this to the Wifely Unit later and threaten to get into this crap. That should be enough to cause her to lighten up on me for the crap I do have going now and make it seem rather harmless and cheap.
Friday, January 6, 2017
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