Saturday, June 18, 2016

If You Want Me, I'll Be In The Garage

Good Lord.

The wife decided she (meaning we) needed to throw some kind of shindig to celebrate the fact the kid actually graduated from high school.
Oh the fuckery.

She has been running around in full Momma Chicken/panicked housewife mode all damn day. Cleaning and decorating and bossing people around left and right trying to get shit done.

I ain't no dummy, I been to Grandma's house before.
I figured this would be an excellent time to go pressure wash the moss off the siding on the front of the house, the gutters and the front sidewalk.

Out of sight, out of mind.

That boy would be wise to grasp this concept.

So after I got done with that shit, I stuck my nose in the house and see she has worked herself into a true frenzy while I was busy.

Fuuuuuuuuck this noise!

Off into the garage I slunk.

I made busy with some stupid stuff but got caught. She opened the door from the house to hang up a broom and dustpan.

You've heard of the Deer In The Headlights Look before?
Yeah, that was me looking for somewhere else to be in a hurry.

She must have had something else pressing to do and just gave me a hard look before turning back and going into the house again.

Time for Plan B, escape to the store.
I snuck back out and ran down t the store to pick up some Coke and a six pack of Hefewizen for my kid. This should give me about twenty minutes of relaxation.

But no.
Damn cell phones anyway.
I no more than paid for the stuff when the phone goes off and there she is asking me where in the hell I am at.

So I tell her and she is all panicked again because she needs to go pick up the food and I need to be at home to watch the oldest boy.

Of course she never mentioned this trivial piece of information to me beforehand.

I'll be back in 5 minutes dear, hold your water.
So I just got back and off she went.

This gives me just a few precious moments of peace to write this before she gets back and a bunch of people start showing up.

Oh joy, I just can't wait for this little Fandango to start.


drjim said...


And I try my damnedest to make myself scarce, too....

Sixbears said...

Duck and cover!

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