Thursday, March 10, 2016

Oh Almighty Government, May I Please Have Your Permission To Defend Myself?

I finally went downtown the other day and applied for a concealed weapons permit.
I have been meaning to do that for a very long time and have just been letting it slide out of sheer laziness and forgetfulness.

For one thing, I absolutely detest going anywhere near downtown, it never fails to be a lesson in frustration just finding a place to park just for starts.
After circling around Mini Mordor a couple of times I finally found a spot just across the street from the courthouse.

Then the fun begins.
I had to dig out a bunch of change to pay the rent on the parking spot. I made sure the meter was full because they have some of their lower level revenue generating minions patrolling that area like flies on shit writing parking tickets for expired meters.
Then knowing full well what was coming next, I had to completely empty all twelve pockets of everything even remotely viewed as contraband by the Gatekeepers in front at the metal detecting station at the courthouse entry.

You wouldn't believe the amount of crap I lug around on a daily basis, even I was surprised.
One folding pocket knife, a full size razor knife, a miniature razor knife,a small pair of slip joint pliers, a 4 inch crescent wrench, a 6 inch crescent wrench, three Bic lighters, various nuts, bolts and screws, three bucks in change, two packs of cigarettes,my cell phone,three different sets of keys,one on a retractable chain gizmo, a small folding pocket magnifying glass,3 pens, 1 Sharpie felt pen, two pen lights, 2 pocket flip screwdrivers and a 6 inch sliding measuring stick.
It filled up a hard hat.
Then into the courthouse where I had to basically disrobe. My coat, hoodie, hat, wallet and belt onto the conveyor, then the hand wand which caught the necklace I had forgotten, the buttons and zippers on my pants and boots and the three metal pins in my mouth that hold some fake teeth in. That fucker was sensitive!

All that to find out that the Sheriffs office was behind the courthouse and I could have avoided all this hassle by walking around the courthouse to the building behind it.

Walk into the Sheriffs office complex,talk to the clerk, fill out a bunch of forms, pay the fifty bucks and then wait for the other clerk who just went on break to do the finger prints.
Get all that crap done and now they will let me know in thirty days if they will allow me to carry concealed.

Washington is a "Shall Issue" state so I see no reason the bastards won't give me one. I have no felony convictions and no domestic violence record. I also have had to pass the Federal background check on a few occasions already so that shouldn't be an issue either so as far as I can tell, just send me the fucking thing.

All this just to get governments permission to carry a pistol under my shirt.

Shall Not Be Infringed
my aching, fucking, ass.


Irish said...

With all that other shit you carry where ya gonna put the pistol ?

When your all loaded down you'll probably weigh as much as I do ;-)

Phil said...

Most of that crap is work related.

Anonymous said...

Move to Tennessee brother. I'd love to buy ya a cup of coffee anyway.

Phil said...

Believe it or not, I have distant relatives all over Tennessee and have been there 3 times. I personally would like to move there but it would mean divorcing my wife first and that isn't going to happen if I can help it.
My Grandfather was from there, my Grandmother and Mother were from Missouri and I miss the food something awful!!

STxAR said...

I had to go into the IRS building in Austin TX. I had a 44 Mag casing I'd found the last time we went to the range. I'd forgotten about it. It went into and evidence bag!! Got it back when I left, after a lecture on safety. Spent round, dangerous to political minions. Got to keep my pocket knife tho.

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