Tuesday, December 8, 2015

He's Got Me Beat

I've pulled a lot of shit in my day. Needless to say there are plenty of things I have done behind the wheel to be ashamed of, at one point in my life I was basically renting my drivers license about every three months.
I used to get letters in the mail from the DMV telling me I was a habitual offender and all kinds of crap.
I went through twenty nine cars in ten years once, totalled almost all of them too. Wild motherfucker back in the day boys and girls.

Just for one example, I met some people somewhere after I had been drinking all day and we decided to go across the river to watch the airplanes land over at Portland International. I was in my 61 Ford short wide Unibody pickup and a couple of the guys were in a fucking Ford Maverick.
The bridge is over a mile long, four lanes both ways.
We were doing 80 miles an hour and passing a can of Budweiser back and forth between the two rigs.

That was the night I got my only DUI but that came later, on the way back across.
It was their fault too.
There is more to that story.

Anyways, even with all that kind of shit, this guy, has me beat;

Naked, drunken man with 3 women in car hit 110 mph, police say



A Florida man with a history of drug, gun and theft arrests was allegedly naked, drunk and driving 110 mph with three female passengers when the Florida Highway Patrol caught up to him on Saturday afternoon.

Noe Dejesus, 33, was released Sunday after posting a $6,000 bond, FOX13 reported. He faces charges of DUI and driving without a license.

Dejesus was pulled over just after 3 p.m. following a report of a car driving recklessly on Alligator Alley. The Highway Patrol officer who clocked Dejesus’ speeding Cadillac initially believed the driver was merely shirtless.

But when Dejesus opened the door and stepped out, he was completely naked, police said.

The trooper allegedly spotted an open 12-pack of Corona and a nearly empty bottle of Crown Royal whiskey in the car, according to the Naples Daily News. Dejesus allegedly smelled of alcohol, was slurring his speech and almost fell down trying to put his pants on.

He declined to perform a field sobriety test and was arrested.

Here's the lads mug shot.

You pull that kind of shit where I live these days and they impound your car, write you so many tickets you lose count and go directly to jail.

You wouldn't have a drivers license again in this state for years.

They have absolutely no sense of humor anymore.
I am so glad I ain't young anymore, even more glad I finally quit the drinkin'. I'd be in jail with no idea of when I was going to get out for the shit I pulled back then.

I still have the crazy going on every once in a while but I have mellowed considerably compared to how I used to be even just a few years ago.

It was time, I finally grew up at 52 years of age, damn lucky to have lived through some of the crap I used to pull.


  1. . . . a Florida man . . . need we say more?

  2. A friend of mine (WAS a friend) pulled a stunt like yours. Killed a family. Three year old girl, newborn baby, six year old and the mother and father.

    So, ever think of saying you are glad you didn't kill anyone? (DEAD DEAD DEAD)

  3. The look on his face in that mugshot clearly says "No regrets".


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