Let me give you a bit of background before I come completely unhinged here.
I have been a mechanic my entire adult life.
I am a natural born mechanic, I can remember working on my pedal car when I was five fucking years old.
I have over thirty five years of professional experience on top of working on my own shit since I was a kid.
I have an Associates degree in Applied Science for Automotive Technology that is Ford Motor Company specific and worked at a Lincoln/Mercury dealership for ten years.
I worked in construction for many years and have worked at construction equipment rental outfits.
I have worked on Cranes, Big Trucks, Dozers, Backhoes, you fucking name it, all the way down to lawn mower engine type shit.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, has ever come close to being so ridiculously engineered with total disregard for serviceability as automobiles.
I have literally seen automotive parts that were installed at the factory that were stuffed in on an assembly line where it was convenient that require disassembling half the fucking car to get back out.
I have seen a heater core installation that required completely stripping the dash board of every single component attached to it and then removing the entire dashboard out of the vehicle, just to remove a leaking heater core.
These are the kinds of idiotic engineering feats that make me want to punch someone in the face, repeatedly.
There is absolutely no reason for it.
Take the Ford Tempo for example.
To get the heater core out of that vehicle, you drained the coolant, took off two hose clamps and the heater hoses, dropped the glove compartment lid down and removed four screws.
You then pulled the heater core out, stuffed another one in, put the four screws and the cover back on, hooked up the hoses, tightened the clamps, filled the cocksucker with coolant and you were done.
You see, I had to replace the heater core in my thirty two year old El Camino today.
Not the first time I have ever done this job either,
Let me show you some pictures.
Towards the top there you can see the heater shut off valve, that round silver thing. The heater core is right there under that cover on top.
Should be easy to get to, right?
There you can see it sitting down in the hole with the tubes sticking out, ready to pull.
Now let me show you what it took to get there.
That is the the cover I had to take off.
There are some of the THIRTY TWO MOTHERFUCKING SCREWS AND SIX BRACKETS I had to take out just to get that cover off!
I had to yank both wiper arms and a polished aluminum cover that goes clear across the bottom of the windshield and the blower motor too.
Just to make it more fun, I had to use six different sockets for all those little screws.
Metric and standard both, of course.
By the way, they like to hide these little screws in really weird places too.
A quarter inch drive air ratchet made it go a lot quicker though.
Someone PLEASE explain to me why all this fucking bullshit is necessary?
It's absolute insanity like this that makes me hate the people that design this shit with all my being.
There should be a fucking bounty on their heads.
This is why it costs so much to have your God damn car worked on people.
It's also why so many mechanics drink too much.
There is absolutely no reason they couldn't have put an access cover on that big plastic mess, with four screws to take it off.
The whole job could then be done in under a half an hour.
Look at this again and remember that this was designed way before computer design was available.
That same asshole should have been made to pull that heater core out and put it right back in forty two times in a row.
This is how you teach educated idiots the meaning of serviceability.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
This Is Why Automotive Design Engineers Should Be Kicked In The Balls Until Their Eyes Bleed
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