Friday, February 7, 2014

Here It Comes Again

More fucking snow today and freezing rain tomorrow.
Thank God I ain't working tomorrow!

I pulled my rig inside the nice warm and dry production building after work last night and put the cable chains on.

I ain't stupid.
The snow had drifted up two feet on both sides of my car.

I had to plow through another two foot berm just to get inside.

I took my sweet assed time coming home but had no problems.They had de-iced one lane of the big hill leading up to my street turn off and I just putted right on up.

I am wondering who will and who won't be in today with more of that fucking white shit coming.

My supervisor chickened out and bailed out four hours early, another co worker who commutes fifty miles one way never did make it in yesterday and there I was driving that vintage El Camino.

Not exactly the best option for driving in the snow and ice.

He called and said it took him 3 hours to go 5 miles on the major North South I-5 freeway and stupid bastards were abandoning their cars on the side of the road and walking.

Fucking MORONS!

In light of us here and all the rest of you dealing with this crap, it is time for that internet classic, "A Southerner Moves North".

The first time I read this years ago I was laughing so hard that tears were running down my face.

Now I can identify....
"Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It’s starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we’ve seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful!

Jan. 11 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time ever and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidently covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.

Jan. 12 It snowed an additional 5 inches last night, and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards, the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-gray.

Jan. 13 Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 to a chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.

Jan. 14 Still cold. Sold the wife’s car and bought a 4×4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter-panel.Luckily the liquor store was on the way home so I bought four cases of whiskey, just in case. Had another 8 inches of the white shit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today.

Jan. 15 2 degrees outside. More fuckin’ snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn’t been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on way to emergency room and was totalled.

Jan.16 Goddamn mother fuckin’ white shit keeps on coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fuckin’ mailbox. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow, I’ll chew open his chest and rip out his heart! I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to open our driveway again! Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Jan.17 Six goddamn more fuckin’ inches of fuckin’ snow and fuckin’ sleet and fuckin’ ice and God knows what other kind of white fuckin’ shit fell last night. I wounded the motherfuckin' snowplow asshole with an ice axe, but he got away.

If I can still move later I should be able to follow the blood trail and finish him off. Wife left me. Car won’t start. I think I’m going snow blind. I can’t move my toes. I haven’t seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind chill -22 fuckin’ degrees. I’m moving back to South Carolina!" Unknown Southerner

Y'all have a nice day now and thanks fer stopping by.


A fine ending to a bust my ass week.

I just got home from a 14 hour day, it's now 5 AM.

It didn't snow much overnite but there is a sheet of ice under what there is.

What is usually a 20 minute drive home took an hour.

I think it's safe to say it will be later in the afternoon before I get up to post anything.


Robert Fowler said...

I feel your pain. It's been snowing here all morning. It's times like these that I hate my part time pizza delivery job. Last night we were so busy that deliveries were running a hour behind. With it snowing today,tonight is going to be just as bad if not worse. I think these assholes see it snowing and suddenly develop a craving for pizza. I really hate the ones that never order unless the weather is bad. My SW answers the phones and she has had people yell her "it's too bad to go out. do you deliver?". Bunch of assholes.

Phil said...

Let me guess, the rotten bastards never heard of a tip either, right?

Greendayman said...

Welcome to Maine. Now, git ur butt up here.

Robert Fowler said...

Too many of them. I like the ones that have a bill of 19,85, hand you a 20 and say keep the change. There should be a bounty on the bastards.

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