Holy Moly I'm in the wrong business.
I was out Christmas shopping today (strike 1) and had to go to Wally World (strike2) for something on the wife's list.
Some fucking hair curler dealie.
I had The List wadded up in my pocket so I didn't fuck anything up.
She wrote the list knowing full well that if she didn't spell it out for me the odds were good I would fuck it up.
So I have The List and I head over to Wally World not too long after I was in Best Buy to get this hair curler.
Don't ask me what is so special about a hair curler, I have no fucking clue.
It's a round plastic stick looking thing with a long clamp thingie down one side and it gets hot.
That's what I know about hair curlers and that's ALL I ever wanted to know about hair curlers.
So I'm in the Freak Zone, wandering around looking for this thing and sure enough., they have a whole shit load of 'em.
This is why I have The List, so I get the right one.
I'm looking and I'm looking at these things and I'm thinking, these things gotta be cheap, there ain't nothin' to 'em.
Au Contrare Mon Ami, they have a rather wide price selection.
So I find the one I'm after, it's the only fucking one left, and it's got some kind of weird alarm kinda thing wrapped around it.
I'm not talking about some little tag, this thing is big... and round.
Almost as big as a fucking hockey puck and it's wrapped around the box like a love starved octopus.
I'm looking at this thing and wondering What The Fuck?
It's at the very top of the rack too.
What, it's a display model or something?
Fuck it, I'll just find out.
So I snag the damn thing and throw it in the cart and off I go.
Get, the fuck, outta this Freak Show Zone and go kick my feet up, after I throw it in one of those stupid assed fancy bags of course.
Amazingly, I didn't have to wait in some huge line and pretty quick, for Wal Mart anyway, I'm at the register.
I got her a Sea Hawks T shirt too because she is a maniac for that shit.
The lady scans the shirt while we exchange pleasantries and then scans the hair curler.
Did my eyes just deceive me?
Wait, how much was that thing again?
As I stand there with my VISA card in hand.
$98.89 she says.
Would I like the extended warranty for another $20?
Holy Fucking Shit!!
Are You Fucking Kidding Me?
A Hundred bucks for a Hair Curler?!!
Jesus H. Christ!
Hell NO I don't want the warranty.
There better be some FAAAAAAAABULOUS fucking hair dresser come to my house and do it for her for that kinda money!
So I grab the box and take a closer look.
This don't look like any Hair Curler I've ever laid eyes on.
Great, it ain't Snap On, it's freakin' NASA!!
Were talking serious power tools here.
Now I get it.
The little woman did good, threw me a curve ball.
I'm going to have to pay a little closer attention now.
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