Saturday, June 1, 2013

What A Difference A Year Makes

Yep, today is an anniversary of sorts.

One year ago today I went on my last, epic, drunk.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of being sober for one year.

No meetings, no support groups, I just don't drink anymore by sheer willpower and the Grace of God.

Don't get me wrong, I do have my moments when chugging a couple of ice cold beers is almost irresistible but I know from experience that once I start, I don't stop until I pass out.

Watch this guy in the video for a laugh and then think about what I am about to say, I have been so drunk it makes this clown look like a rookie.

I used to black out and still function.

Wake up wondering where the fuck I was at and how the fuck I got there.

I was drinking a fifth of straight whiskey and chasing it with beer every fucking day.

I weigh about one fifty/sixty.

That's hardcore, I don't give a fuck who y'are.

Puke?

I would puke every morning and it got so bad I was puking in anything handy day and night.

I still got up and went to work almost every day too.

They call that functional alcoholism and I was fucking good at it.

I have pretty much lost everything I ever had because of it too.

A marriage, two houses, totaled over thirty cars and have had so many car , motorcycle and personal accidents I have literally lost count but it is well over a hundred by now.It's called being out of control except I called it life as usual.

One year ago I crossed a big line and came close to losing everything again. My wife especially.

That was enough.

I don't want to lose her, she is the best thing that ever happened to me so I sat down with a hangover that would kill a mere mortal and did a little soul searching.

I think I made the right decision.

I can see a lot of changes in my life and it ain't always a bowl of cherries but it is a damn sight better than I probably deserve.I look back at some of my older rants and just laugh now.

I have shit to do so I'm going to go do it instead of thinking about it and looking at it through the bottom of a bottle.

Thanks fer stopping by.


Cross posted at my other Blog.
Ornery Bastard.

6 comments:

  1. Sir: Good job...... takes a brass set to derail the train running at mach 3. Kudos.
    Soapweed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretty good analogy actually, I like that.

      Thanks.

      Delete
  2. Congratulations! Nothing good comes easy...hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good for you brother.

    I quit alcohol in 1990. I stayed dry for 20+ years. I decided to drink again a year or so ago. The wife and I have us 3 or 4 drinks on Friday evenings, it's pretty nice. Somewhere along the way I lost that "craving" for alcohol that caused me so much trouble in my younger years.

    Have a good life.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Quitting is easy once you get to the point that you are quitting because you want to instead of because you think you should or because others want you to. Getting to that point is the hard part. It took me 20 years of all day every day drinking to get there, been sober since early 2000 and intend to stay that way.

    ReplyDelete

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