Thursday, January 12, 2017

Phone Scammers , Meet Karma

I keep getting the assholes calling me and waking me up in the mornings claiming to be from THE US GOVERNMENT!! ELEVENTY ELEVEN!!!!

They are pissing me off too.

It's always some fuckhead with such a heavy Indian accent that I can't hardly understand what the fuck they are saying.

Well, they done fucked up this morning.
Woke my ass up but I didn't answer the phone right away because I didn't have my glasses on.
Some local number though.

I got up, went and warmed up some of yesterdays coffee, went out and had a smoke then came in, got a pen and a paper and called the number back.

I had to have the guy spell out what government agency he was claiming to represent his accent was so bad.

The U.S. Branch of Human Health Services.

Got some phony address, another phony phone number then got down to business.
He claimed his name was Joe Bronson.

Claims that they took some phony survey and that because I haven't filed for bankruptcy and don't have a criminal record that I qualify to get $7,800.

The whole time he is trying to scam me, I am just fucking with this motherfucker non stop.
This is like the sixth time these cock suckers have called and woke me up in the last two months so now it's game on.

I let him run his yap for a bit then I told him I wasn't interested before he could set the hook, then I hung up.

I drank some more coffee and got on the internet and filed a complaint against the sonsabitches with the FTC.
It won't do a bit of good but I have been on the Do Not Call registry since October of 2012.

After I got a confirmation number for my complaint, I called the asshole back up again.

I could hear a television blasting in the back ground but he answered right in character.

I told him I had the wrong number and hung up.
Fifteen minutes later I called 'em again and some Indian woman answered an immediately identified herself as working for the government also.
I mumbled some nothings and hung up on her too.

Just a minute ago I called and some guy answers but his accent has pretty much disappeared and he claims he doesn't know what I'm talking about, I asked him if he had money for me but he claimed ignorance.

It's the same guy so they are on to me.

I told him that he could expect a call from the government and hung up on his ass.

Later on I'm gonna call the fuckers again.

I'm gonna call the cocksuckers at two in the morning after I get home from work too.

Then I am going to explain to them that they have fucked with the wrong guy one time too many and that now it's my turn.

You see, they really fucked up when they called me with a local number that actually connects back to them.

I'm gonna call the cocksuckers at that number until they are forced to disconnect it.

Payback is a bitch.


  1. there are all sorts of scams going on, ever argue with a female robot?

    meanwhile stay disconnected from this and future calls


  2. What's the number? Put it out there. HaHa

    1. I was going to say the same thing, doug. Post the number so that we can call them, too. Being the whole way on the other side of the country will give me a different window of opportunity to screw with them. Michigan Doug is in another time zone over from me. We can really expand your plot..........

    2. Post the number,,I'll call too.I get the same shot for granny,,,she died 2 year ago.

  3. I get calls from "Microsoft Service" claiming my gompudah is infected. I let the last but one go on for a while,then asked him "Does your mother know you tell lies for a living?" He hung up pretty fast.

    1. I love screwing with those guys. One called and said that he was from Windows Technical Support. I said, Testicle Support? My testicles don't need support. My wife cut them off years ago." Click. He hung up. Another that called said that he was from Microsoft and that there was a problem with my computer. I told him that I was Amish and didn't have a computer. He went silent for a while and finally asked me why I had a phone, then. I told him that it was all right because it ran on hay. Click. When another Indian called I said, "Hey, my little curry smelling, Windows Wog buddy. How the fuck are ya doin' today?" This seemed to piss him off a bit, because he started cursing me out and told me that he was coming over to my house to teach me a lesson. I told him to come on over and I'd give him a double tap right where a Wog woman's dot would be before he got one of his little brown toes in the door. Click. I think he must have heard the term "double tap" before.................

  4. Find an ood modem. Set a dialer up to call every few minutes even when you cant....

    And one can always post their number on Craigslist....

    "Gay white male seeking to give blowjobs"

    1. I have done the modem emulating a fax. It goes through the fax tones twice and waits 5 minutes to redial until it hits "xx" amount of failed tries. If by chance they do hook up a fax it will print a black page with white letters telling them to take me off their call list.

  5. You're doing gods' work, buddy!

    Carry on.

    (Apologies to crooked bankers!)

  6. I had fun with one of these,
    Apparently the office of Microsoft, Bill Gates Division had finally tracked me down. What with my errors and bad stuff spewing out all over the inter-webby thingy it is amazing that it wasn't the EPA.

    But to make a long story short (to late now, right?) The well meaning Micro Rep made the fatal error of calling...Dum DA DA! a Christian, not kidding, guilty as charged.

    So of course I take an immediate interest in the welfare of the Micro Rep, and explain why he is in such a tremendously precarious position concerning his salvation.

    Now let me warn those of you who wish to try this at home...I was absolutely sincere about my caring for this person and my only desire was to share the truth. I believe that it was this sincerity that actually allowed this short conversation to resonate with the Rep. We talked for only a couple of minutes and my parting comment was my wish that he seek the truth in these matters and that he do it quickly because we really are not promised tomorrow. We parted on good terms.

    An hour later I received another call from one of Bill Gates Reps. I again started to tell this person the good news when he suddenly cuts me off and yells: YOU'RE THE GUY, you are the one who made two of my people quit and walk out today! He then proceeded to inform me of my heritage and my approximate worth to the world and all of creation. I thanked him and asked if he had heard the good news...Unfortunately I haven't had anyone from Microsoft call me back in over six months.. I wonder, is it something I said?

    MSG Grumpy

  7. me or post that number and I'll start calling from the middle east.

  8. Post the number, I'd happily call those fuckers.

  9. better than screwing with him yourself, let the "professinals" do it for you.
    find a refi or student loan/information popup and fill it out using a bogus name and that guy's phone number. he will either field 10-15 calls a day for the next few months, or change his phone number.
    I swear this works...I fielded 15-20 phone calls a day for some guy named "alfredo" because some jerk applied for student loan info and put my phone # down. after 9 months,i gave up and got a new phone.


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