Not Now, Not Ever

Not Now, Not Ever

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Tryptophan Is A Hell Of A Drug Man

So in typical dumbass fashion, I took off for work yesterday and ran off and left my sandwiches in the fridge.
The wifely unit told me they were in there earlier but when I popped open my lunchbox lid it was full to the top so I figured I was good to go.

Of course, get to work, start digging in the lunchbox and no sandwiches.
Fuck me.

It wasn't like I was going to starve, there was a Cup-O-Noodles, some chips, cookies and other crap in there and I could have run down and got something but I figured fuck it, I'll just eat when I get home.

So I get home and there are a couple of Teenager's laying about, basically picking their teeth and farting lazily.

In typical fashion, they had systematically gone through and Hoovered up anything with nutritional value, including my sandwiches.
It's 11:30 at night, the Wifely unit had already left to her parents earlier in the day to start getting the Thanksgiving feast going and I am too lazy to get back in the car and go get something to eat.

I started in on a perfunctory search mission and found the remains of a plate full of huge cinnamon rolls that the calorie snatchers had only managed to decimate, it must have been their stopping point.
I slammed one down to shut my belly up and called it good.
The Wifely unit then texts me and tells me she left something behind that she needs ASAP first thing in the morning.

Shit.

Now I don't usually go to bed until 4 or 5 in the morning but she is talking I need to BE THERE at 10, which is 35 miles away.

So I set my alarm and got up at 9, with no coffee, and start corralling kids getting ready to head out. Three full sized guys cram into the El Camino and off we go with the crap she needs.

I get over there and my belly is growling now. There are some munchy things and I scarf a few but am told that "dinner" is going to be ready by Noon.

She did a fine job, the whole works and I dove right in man. A full plate of food.
I don't normally eat big but I was hungry and tore right through it.

I guarantee you, it wasn't even fifteen minutes after I set that plate down that I was out like a light.

Done.

Snoring like a dragster engine on the couch.

I woke up two hours later just groggy as hell, I felt like I had been drugged.

I'm tellin' ya, we need to send massive turkey dinners to our enemies and just wait an hour. Then we can just walk in and take over.
That is some powerful shit!

I hope everyone had a nice nap today too. See ya's tomorrow, I see someone made the mistake of leaving a whole Pumpkin/whipped cream pie in the freezer and I am all alone right now........

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