I had to run over to Libtardia a bit ago to pick up a couple of things that aren't available locally.
Cheap cigarettes and a small chunk of aluminum round stock plus a 6"X 6"X 1/2" chunk of mild steel flat plate.
There is an outfit over there that sells metal by the piece and cuts it for free.
Nothing like that locally so off I went.
After getting stuck in the never ending traffic jam going across the bridge I finally made it to my first destination and just like clockwork, I felt the coffee I had drank earlier sending me an urgent message that it needed to return to Mother Earth, right fucking now.
I swear I have super efficient kidneys and a bladder the size of a walnut anymore.
There wasn't any place to take a piss at there so off I went looking for somewhere nearby.
About a quarter of a mile down the road I spied a fucking Burger King.
I whipped in the parking lot and ran inside to find a big message taped to the door proclaiming that the use of said facilities were reserved for customers only and that you had to buy something first.
Yeah, OK, I hadn't eaten yet so far so I'll take care of that right after I get rid of some coffee.
I get in there and there is some younger guy with four or five bags of his shit sitting on the ground in front of the sink so I went past him to the urinal and whipped Little Jimmy out to take care of business.
In the mean time the little weirdo is muttering something at me but I am ignoring his ass.
Dude, you don't talk to other guys in a strange restroom while they are taking a piss, OK?
I got finished and went to wash my hands but all his crap is right in front of the sink and he standing right next to it and is still muttering something at me but I can't understand what the fuck it is so I said Fuck It and just went back out and got in line.
A minute or so later, here comes the little freak. He walks up to me all five foot six of him puffed up and says something about me enjoying my dick burger and that I should try washing my hands.
I'm thinking Freak Boy is about .025 seconds away from finding out that fucking with the old man on this particular day is going to end especially badly when he spins on his heel and struts off packing his five bags of crap with him.
Good enough, I have better things to do than beating mentally ill homeless people bloody in the middle of a fucking Burger King behind enemy lines in a different state anyway.
So now I can finally concentrate on the damn menu and start deciding what the hell they are offering that I can choke down without spending ten fucking dollars on.
I have never been a big fan of Burger King food to begin with but here I am.
Adapt and overcome, right?
So they have these Chicken Fry things that are basically thin strips of chicken nugget stuffed into an expensive little French Fry box.
A bit much for what they actually are.
Then I remembered that Burger King has this smoking deal on Chicken Nuggets.
10 for $1.49.
That would work I'm thinking. Finger food while I am on my way to the next stop.
So I find the Chicken Nuggets on the menu and sure as shit, there it is, 10 for $1.49.
DIRECTLY BELOW THAT, they are offering 20 Chicken Nuggets for $6.19.
My brain detected an anomaly there so I did some quick math in my head.
Lets see, 10 for $1.49.
$1.49 times 2 is $ 2.98.
So I can get 20 Chicken Nuggets for $2.98 or I can pay $6.19.
Actually, I can get FORTY Chicken Nuggets for less than $6.00 if my math is right.
Yeah, I'll take two 10 piece Chicken Nuggets, to go please.
You can keep the freak.
I didn't bother pointing out their little addition problem to them, let them soak their fellow ignorant
Liberals for all I care.
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