I come home from busting my homesick ass all day to find my wife and two of her damn neices sitting here in the dark with the Tee Vee blasting watching horror flicks.
Even my headphones can't compete.
The worst part is that I can't even escape out to the garage to work on my car or something because of that fucking feral Mommy cat from Hell and her evil spawn out there.
Trust me, I ain't afraid of a cat but I'm not stupid either.
The little Hellion has already drawn blood on a couple of unwary fools out there trying to snag one of her kittens.
The moron boy went out and started climbing over welders and shit trying to get underneath my air compressor way back in the corner and Momma kitty was just waiting for his dumb ass.
He stuck his face down there to get a better look and got clawed across the cheek for his trouble.
Then the wife went out there after I caught her red handed moving the little fuckers over to the other side of the garage to hide them underneath a generator I have sitting next to the dryer with a cover over it and got whacked across the ankle about four times before she even knew what the fuck was happening.
Me and Momma kitty have a sort of understanding though.
Kind of a mutual destruction kind of thing I'd have to say.
I don't fuck with her kittens and she doesn't cause me to leak blood anywhere.
In turn I don't wring her fucking neck with my bare hands.
Fair deal I'd say.
She even tolerates me somewhat when I go out there to have a smoke. She will come out when I shake the Scooby Snack package and drop a few on the floor. I make damn sure not to get within ten feet of those kittens though.
She is quite the little berzerker.
Hisses and spits when I try to get to the food bowl to fill it up with fresh water and food but stops short of the all out attack she would go after for just about anyone else.
So between the damn women and their horror movies and that fucking cat, I am kind of outnumbered and stuck. There ain't much to do at One in the morning.
One thing I need to do is go get a very good set of headphones.
These cheap bastards ain't cutting it.
Pretty soon here in a couple weeks me and Momma kitty are going to have a caged death match though.
The wife insists on getting the sonofabitch spayed and guess who got volunteered to try and snatch the cat long enough to stuff it in a box?
Yours truly of course. This could be interesting.
I'll be digging out the welding gloves for this little fiasco, trust me.
I'll also make sure to have plenty of triple anti biotic ointment and a shit load of bandages handy.
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