Poor little Momma Kitty.
That feral cat who has the kittens out in the garage has finally been cornered and trapped, then deposited in the back bedroom for disposition in the morning. She has an appointment to get fixed in the morning and this ought to be interesting because she has been In Heat again already for a fucking week.
The little bitch is quite the fighter, I'll give her that.
She won't let anyone get near her and I have been sweet talking her for two weeks trying to build up some trust.
I finally broke out the secret weapon earlier today in my SYOP conditioning..
I gave her a good whiff and then put a little on the floor to coax her out from underneath my fucking car.
Then another dab a few inches further out,repeat as necessary until she was just about a foot away and scarfing it down. She still totally had her guard up but I have been non threatening and sweet talking her like I said. I gave her a few more mouthful's and then left her alone for a few hours.
The plan was to get her in the house where there aren't two hundred places to hide.
After I Barbequed some burgers and things settled down, the damn kid got the tuna out with his Mom in the garage and couldn't get the cat to come all the way through the door. He couldn't figure it out.
Pissed me off, give me the fucking tuna and all of you get the fuck outside!
After they left I started in again, a little here, some sweet talking and I just left a trail into the kitchen. The cat had one eye on me at all times but finally slithered past me to get the next bite and I reached behind her and slammed the fucking door shut.
Straight under the futon she went.
Then I told everyone to leave her the fuck alone because she is already freaked out.
I left her there for a while and finally got down where I could see her and she is panting hard and scared so I sweet talked her for about a minute and she finally laid down all the way in the back and relaxed a bit.
I was going to leave her there but OH Fuck No, the wife insists we get her and put her in the bathroom.
Daddy has been to Grandma's house before and got the living shit tore out of him by a wild assed cat and has absolutely no desire to repeat the experience so out in the garage and back in with a brand new pair of welding gloves we go.
The poor little fucker senses really bad things are about to happen and starts in with the plaintive wailing. I have my nephew and wife pick up the futon and the games begin.
Off the cat goes, we ended up chasing her back and forth under the fucker until she sees an opportunity and bolts for the French doors. She is scratching like mad and trying to climb the fucking drapes to get away.
The drapes fall down and I make a lunge but she is already back under the futon. We repeat this move a couple times and she finally hauls ass down the hallway.
Dead End Kitty.
I have the wife and the nephew flank me and start down the hall. The cat sees me coming and freaks the fuck out some more and starts literally trying to climb the fucking walls to get away.
I have her pretty much trapped and make a grab.
The fucking gloves won't let me get a good grip and I have her half pinned when she turns around in her own skin and starts biting and writhes half way out of my grip.
I let go and it's round two, trying to get a grip on her while she is trying to climb the wall again.
I finally chased her down into a corner on my fucking hands and knees and grab her again. This time she ain't fucking around and when she bites me, it goes CLEAR THROUGH the fucking welding gloves and right into my thumb!
Then she gets me again on my index finger and scratches the shit out of my arm!
When I finally get a good hold on her, she just shuts down.
Nothing, like a limp rag .Weird as Hell.
I pick her up and get her to the bathroom and all Hell breaks loose again and she gets out of my grip but is behind the toilet now so I snag her again so the wife can clean up the water dish that got knocked over.
I sit on the edge of the bed and again she just goes limp.
I talked to her for a bit then set her down in the bathroom and shut the fucking door.
I can't fucking wait until tomorrow morning when I get to try and catch her and get her in a fucking box.
I almost feel sorry for the fucking vet but I'm sure they have ways to deal with freaked out cats.
The first thing I did was go wash the shit out of my battle wounds and get out the triple antibiotic.
I didn't even know I had been scratched until I saw the blood running down my arm after all that excitement.
Thank God I had those gloves on or I would be the one heading in to see the Doc.
She would have torn me a new asshole.
So the poor fucking thing is now freaked out at about level ten back in the bathroom and I feel bad that it was so damn traumatic for her but there was no other way that didn't involve Blow Darts or catch poles that I could think of.
I truly believe that she would be a sweet cat if you could get her calmed down and get her used to being petted again.
You can tell she was someones cat at one time but went wild for whatever reason and has already raised one litter of kittens outside so she is a fucking survivor and not to be trifled with.
It certainly wasn't high on my list of things I really wanted to do to be fucking with her in the first place and I would like to kick my wife in the butt for putting us all in this position but it is what it is and at least she won't be having any more fucking kittens.
Speaking of kittens, anybody want one?
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