Sunday, December 29, 2013

Comedy Gold

I have a nephiew who is a pretty good kid.
I think he is like 22-23 or so, my brothers kid.
They are very much alike apparently.
The poor bastard just moved back out here from South Carolina, drove clear across the country in a Chevy Blazer.
Him and a buddy.

So when he gets out here he has a job up on MT. Hood and he says the whole way across the country, in the snow and slush and mud flying, his windshield washers didn't work. He wants me to take a look at it before he heads up to even more snow and mud and slush.

Just bring it by before I go to work and I will at least take a look at it I says.

I quit working on cars years ago because they absolutely bury shit and you can't get to the simple things like a fucking washer pump, without dismantling a bunch of shit like inner fender wells or worse, to get to them

So he shows up and it was great to see the kid.
Good looking little hunk of a dude, he must have to beat the wimmins off with a stick.

So I go out and start taking a look to see how buried this washer pump is and was pleasantly surprised that I could get right to them.
Yes, them. That was a new one for me, the damn thing has two washer pumps!

So I have him turn the key on and push the button.


I go back inside and grab a test light and start looking for fuses to see if one is blown.

Another thing about newer cars is that the fucking assholes like to hide the fuse panels all over the place. So as I am checking the ones under the hood I ask him where the one is inside the rig.

He says it's under the back seat!

He is pulling shit out trying to get to the seat and I am standing behind him.

Just for shits and grins, I reach in and hit the washer switch and away they go, squirting fluid all over the damn place.zzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzz! zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz.!

I says to him, does that work for ya?

He is shocked and says to me, what did you do?

I twisted the knob for the washers, right here.

Ya see that paddle looking thing?
that's the washer switch, you twist that. It's the same one that is on my thirty year old El Camino.

The poor kid. He is definitely my brothers son, no clue about things automotive.
There is a switch out on the end of the stalk for the cruise control or something and he had been pressing on that, all the way across the country.

I was laughing so hard I almost choked.


  1. You have an El Camino? You're awesome! What's the matter with kids these days? When I was young, one's manliness was measured by his knowledge of cars. Of course cars are so lame these days, I guess I can understand why young people are no longer interested in them. Every car should have a V-8, manual transmission, and rear wheel drive.

  2. Priceless. I once ended a date 15 minutes into it after I had to dry the dude's distributor cap while he was calling AAA.


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